My Journey

23 years ago April 3 I prayed the most dangerous prayer an unbeliever can pray: make Yourself real to me God! I want to know IF you are real! He did and He is and Wow! what a journey so far.(shofar?)In the first year I traveled from NOT understanding what happened to me to judgement to grace and absolute love to the law and a mixture of both grace and law which is law. 99%Grace+1%Law=Law
Then within the next 5 years I traveled to and from Charismatic town and Pentacostal village through Prophetic and Deliverance States. Gradually, I found myself slumming in Self-Righteous City and took the mystic feelings and true words from God Himself and stored them in a closet underneath my Baptist Deacons sheepskin. I learned how to do all the right things at church with the right people at the right time and very nearly spent the rest of my life here. And would have been almost at perfect peace. Almost.....
Still, I could not and would not deny my secret prayer language, the fact that I heard God's voice in the Bible, from the pulpit and the amusing Sunday School class as deep within my own soul, coming right out of my mouth and the mouths of others who I snuck off to see whenever possible and wondered that so many more mainstream evangelicals didn't question the statements made from pulpits and podiums about gifts and tongues and signs and wonders being done away with because now we had the perfect ultimate source of everything that God was up to and had been up since the Book of Acts was left unfinished less than maybe 35 years after our Lord and Saviour hung on the cross, was buried, resurrected and ascended into the clouds with thew promise of returning.
Six and a half years ago, I heard one of my most favorite Baptist ministers say from the pulpit that speaking in tongues was demonic. Before this, there had been several sermons that described the error of prophetic words. I had seen firsthand that some prophetic words were not. I was careful to really seek the Lord on these "words" and felt that some were from God and some were not. Maybe they came from that minister's carnal nature or their attempt to manipulate others. But tongues and the words that God Himself had spoken to me that lined up with His love and His word were the evidence for my beliefs. Some things you just know.